Today started with a thought provoking message that was shared with me by a very dear friend of mine.
There can only be a need for forgiveness when first there is blame.
And there can only be blame, when first there is misunderstanding. The Universe
My response to this is as follows.
Although this would work in most cases, I strongly feel that forgiveness is something we do for ourselves. It is part of a healing process. It is a letting go of hurt and pain caused by another and I feel it is very important.
Being a victim of abuse, it took a long time for me to forgive not only the person who hurt me but also myself for allowing it to happen. I have stopped beating myself up about staying in that relationship for so long and I have forgiven the person who abused me. The last time I saw him, I felt no ill will towards him. That was a huge breakthrough for me.
Unfortunately, when children are the victims, they have no control over the situation. It can take years and years for these children to come to terms with what happened to them and it has a huge impact on their lives. I am speaking from experience. I don't believe that abuse is caused by a misunderstanding. I do believe that being able to forgive in this situation is important to the victim and their healing process. Without fogiveness there is no moving on. So to me this statement could only work in the case of a misunderstanding. I do not believe it could be used as a blanket statement to include all situations. But then again we take what resonates for us and that is why we are each so unique in our beliefs. Just my thoughts.
Then it came time for me to pick an angel card for my daily angel message group and the message was this:
Acceptance.....Acceptance means unconditional love. The angels remind you to accept everyone exactly as the are, without judging, blaming or wanting to change them. When you are totally accepting you bear no malice or enmity towards anyone or anything.
Harmlessness through acceptance is a high state of being and this is a difficult quality for humans to embrace for it is a Divine quality. Nevertheless the angels are drawing it to your attention now. Accept yourself and you will feel centered and confident and your divine self is revealed.
Diana Cooper.....Angels of Light
Now after getting these messages, I felt there was a connection between the 2. Forgiveness is only a word used for the act of letting go. To truly let go of something there must be acceptance which, as the message said, is unconditional love. If we can see a situation with only love then there are no bad feelings and we can go on with our journey carryng the lesson learned.
The word blame came up in both messages. In the situation of abuse, who is to blame? Is there anyone to blame? Usually the abuser has either been abused him/herself or has other emotional or mental problems so can we really blame him/her? I guess we just have to somehow believe that we are meant to go through what we go through as part of our journey.
As time passed and I was able to look at my past life, I had an "aha" moment a few years ago. I wrote about it at my website. I finally realized the answer to the "why me" question I had asked so many times during my life. It is all a learning process and I am stronger and more enlightened each time I get to the other side of any situation.
I love the saying "We are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience." I feel the point to this is, we must experience our human self as well as our spiritual self. We will not be fully spirit again until we shed this physical body. We must learn to honor every bit of who we are, accept what comes our way, let go and forgive situations in our lives and learn the lesson without the pain.
I am not sure that I will ever totally heal from the abuse. There may always be a slight emotional scar. I am not perfect and though I strive to be a loving spirit, there are times I fall short. I beleive this is also part of my journey. I have changed so much for the better and I pray that I continue to become more and more enlightened. I try to live each day to it's fullest and love the people around me. I don't know that I can do more than that but if the opportunity shows itself, I certainly will try.
Love and Blessings Anne
1 comment:
Forgiveness is for yourself not for the person who needs forgiving!! Forgiving will lift the burden off of you and send the negative energy out and bring a sense of peace to your soul. Though you will never forget what occurred accepting that everyone is human and makes mistakes means you should never deny someone forgiveness. We all make mistakes.
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